Workplace Wakeup (Loren)

My name is Loren. I’m 24 years old and live in Redcliffe, Brisbane. I work in advertising and dabble in crocheting when I’m not annoying my cat with knitted hats I force him to wear.

What is one of the greatest challenges you have had to overcome in your life?

Recently there was a position at the place where I work. It offered a raise, even if it was only a little bit, but it’s still a raise. It was that one step further for my career and it was up for grabs, almost everyone at work was going to apply but my friend, lets call her Meg, said that I had the highest chance of getting the promotion. But then on the office grapevine, I heard that—let’s call her Holly—was also the number one candidate for the role.

Let me tell you, that if archenemies were a thing, Holly was mine. Now of course, we don’t live on TV and I’m not a particularly petty person, but oh my goodness almost everything Holly did annoyed the hell out of me. It started with just being passive aggressive when I first met her. You know those off-handed compliments and weird smiles and laughs that just never seemed kind. In meetings she is always the one to oppose me even if its uncalled for. She loves, and I mean, loves to be the centre of attention. It’s constant too. Like I am all for female empowerment and taking up space, but oh my god, this was beyond that. It was so constant and so intense and at 9am before anyone had made terrible office coffee.

…and the conversations she had were always so vain and always about herself. Sure, she could do her job well. This kind of sounds like I hate her, but I don’t, our personalities just didn’t mesh at all. And it’s not like I didn’t try, I tried so hard to be her friend, or even just to be, you know, civil. But from what I got from her she just didn’t want anything to do with me. Was it because I didn’t use fake tan or have salon nails or—I really don’t know.

How did you initially react to this challenge?

Initially, I was pissed, (a laugh), but not surprised really. Of course, my first response was to quietly be angry and then go talk to Meg about how unfair that was. Holly was up for the position and so was just about everyone else. But I couldn’t help feeling this weird kind of jealousy and envy about her being considered. Of course, being nice rarely has anything to do with being good at a job.

I went home, angrily crocheted for a few hours, talking my cat’s ear off. His name is Bartholomew and he’s a rescue. At first, I was going to rename him when I got him. But the name just fit so well, and I call him Bart which rhymes with Fart, and I always tell new people about that random fact. People usually find it hilarious, but Holly didn’t. Another red flag, in my opinion. Anyway, I dealt with it by ranting to my cat and then forcing him to put on the little jacket I made him.

Did your reaction change toward the challenge?

I hate to say it but yeah it did. Maybe I am more petty than I think. But I thought it over and talked to Meg about feeling like the position should go to literally anyone but Holly. She agreed. But she also told me that my work should speak for itself. If the position was going to be mine it would naturally come to be. My work would show for itself and if the people making the decisions thought Holly was more qualified, I would be a bit salty, but in the end, I would live with it. There would be other positions and its not as if Holly couldn’t handle the job.  

What did you ultimately learn? Good or bad?

A bit of humility, I think. Which is good but unfortunate because I realised, I was being petty. It was good to talk with Meg, someone who didn’t dislike Holly as much. Having someone else’s opinion on the matter was great. Bart didn’t really have an opinion on Holly or the job. He probably just wanted me to stop stress knitting and making him wear all the little items of clothing.  

Do you often tell people about this challenge? Why or why not?

Not at work because in the end I didn’t get the position and neither did Holly, so I guess it was a bittersweet result. Of course, I told Meg and she helped me figure out my thoughts and try and not let Holly get to me as much anymore. I told a few other friends who had troubles at their own workplaces with people who they can’t seem to get along with.

Would you go through it again for the same outcome?

I think I would. I might have to again some time in the future. If I want to keep pursuing what I’m doing I will definitely have to plead my case against people who I think aren’t as good for the position or people, I don’t get along with. Holly isn’t a bad person really; I will probably have to deal with much more horrible people in my life, so I guess this was practice in a weird way.